5th Difficult Night
Read the previous sections here
Mata Sabhraaee Ji was continuing her spiritual journey. She was melting her life into a treasure of gold and learning how to best make use of it in accordance with Sikhi [just like a goldsmith would]. Yes, she was becoming something... that which we would call a Sikh.
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Mata Ji was becoming an example/model/standard that we would use to refer to someone as a Sikh. This example was made by Guru Sahib first. Guru Sahib exemplified these teachings to show how a human should live. Maharaj has made such further humans for us as forms of peace and to provide peace to the world. Whoever was dispatched by Guru Sahib will make the most of this life. Their thoughts & – overall – mentality will show us the fearlessness with which we can live in. We see practical examples of how troubles come to their Gursikhs and we wonder how much faith they have for Akaal Purakh and how they connect with Vaheguru for support. This practical life is difficult but the Gursikhs can show us how we can live through it and endure the pains & suffering... no matter how tough. Separated from a spouse, separated from a child, separated from grandchildren, and trying to understand the play of her Son-in-Law Guru Sahib... how can the mind remain stable?
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Even though Mata Ji internally has love and GurSikhi within her, she becomes worried but how can Mata Ji let go of this thinking of the mind?
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Accepting Hukam doesn’t mean that when melons roll into the river, they cannot be retrieved. When the mind becomes upset and the concentration does not remain then the mouth begins to say: 'Your Hukam is Perfect!' This is not actual acceptance. Acceptance is this: attaining the Taste of the Naam, taking the connection to Naam in high states & savouring this taste.
When opportunities come to reflect and accept Hukam then it takes the focus towards peace and Chardi Kalaa. This makes one think: 'It is Your Will!'
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It is also Your Will when the focus is lost and the mind begins to suffer but the immediate effort to connect by reflecting on where did the Sweet-Taste of Naam go? The Taste of Internal Peace/Stability was coming but why was it moved? It returns back to going inwards and the Internal Stability comes back, the Waves of the Sweet-Taste of Naam did not break, if broken then the attempts to connect it should not break [we should keep trying]. Then one can say that they have accepted Guru Sahib’s Hukam. In this way, Naam becomes Truly Sweet, one does not have to say it, it has truly been experienced and accepted: It is Your Will!
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So Mata Ji was headed towards a worthwhile spiritual life and the pains & suffering were just in the background. When one pain was not completely over then another one came. Mata Ji faced a wound and fell but got back up while vigilant. After every wound, she gained another victory in the mental sphere. It only made her stronger and stronger. This strength was not a type of dry emotional detachment. If the ideal spiritual life was to just be detached then both stones and trees are visibly detached too. Animals face emotional attachment but become detached over time. Their forgetting about their attachments becomes their way of winning over emotional attachment but this is not a high spiritual feat. We need to conquer the mind through that Highest Taste, through Highest Stability, through the Highest Form of Divine Love. Conquering the mind does not make you an unconscious rock. Rather, it makes one drenched in a Living/Conscious Love where the Vision is of Higher Realms and the Divine Realities are experienced in the Residence of Eternal Peace. Should have Mata Ji laughed, been happy or experienced sadness after hearing of the physical pains of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Sahib Ji and the Sahibzaaday? This would be an unconscious life. Truly living is to have taken her focus and united it in Harmony with Vaheguru’s Consciousness. In this way, the Master’s Will was letting out a tune which would align with Mata Ji’s perception of her own free will. Mata Ji would have taken herself to great heights and been able to realize what a great task occurred while everything was happening in the background. "Understand everything to be part of the Greater Hukam that you are witnessing." Reflecting on this, Mata Ji’s internal gaze went towards Internal Stability, the Sweet Taste of Naam within. The Great Taste from the Waves of Naam’s Great Taste should never stop. Standing within the Shining Block of the Naam-Sun, witnessing the Divine Majesty and the beautiful events caused as a result of it... reflecting upon this made that same Majesty fill her existence.
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Mata Ji was heading towards the Path to Vaheguru. Many tests were coming to her back-to-back as if these tests would defeat her and take Mata Ji into ungratefulness, low spirits, sadness, worry, upset, ignorance, a state of darkness without wisdom, or being mistaken (that she still wished her desires would come into existence)... but Mata Ji was pushing so that her mind would become conquered and that she could witness the Playful Vaheguru’s Play. Mata Ji was becoming extra careful. She was attaining states that were beyond her heart (Un=Uchaa/High + Mun = Dhil/Heart) In this state of Unmun, she was overcoming this internal mine-and-yours [ego perspective] mind and went towards a State of Complete Bliss.
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Hearing that Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji was untouched by the Mughals, Mata Ji was hoping that Maharaj was physically well wherever they are. The mind was cool, and the Sweet-Taste of Naam was continuing to flow and at peace. There was a slight desire but it was not rising so greatly in her mind. The desire was for Maharaj’s Physical Security. When this desire heads into anxiety then Mata Ji does ardaas: Oh Akaal Purakh! Keep Your Own Son Protected Yourself! When the ardaas seemed like not enough then Mata Ji began to recite Gurbani in a normal voice... she would go into the Praises of the Beloved. Having sung the Praises of Guru Sahib being Almighty/All-Powerful, Perfect, everything being Guru Sahib’s Play and everything was a part of Vaheguru’s Playfulness. Singing such praises, Mata Ji would go into states of Praise and then go back into the Sweet Taste of Naam.
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A few days passed and news spread that Maharaj was physically well and in Deenaa-Kangarr. However, the Battle of Mukthsar was also heard about. How did the Sikhs of Majha become Shaheed? Did they sacrifice themselves for Guru Sahib and now leave their legacy that we now call ‘Mukthsar’ (Sarovar of Liberation)? How did Maharaj get from Chamkaur Sahib to Malwa Desh? Not just this, Mata Ji also found out about the Shaheedi of the Younger Sahibzaaday as well. They went through a lot of torture yet did not give up righteousness. Mata Ji heard about all of these events in great detail and after hearing this, she went through further trauma. Such a trauma where Mata Ji forgot about herself. Mata Ji closed the door, laid on her stomach and the first quarter of the night was spent in rough shape. Friends and relatives knocked at her door but Mata Ji did not hear nor did she give a reply. Everyone left and then came back over and over again.
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Mata Ji woke up in the second quarter and took a long breath: "Oh mind! Where was I and where am I now? What happened? Sansaar is so impatient... is there nothing else left? After this moment of reflection, there was a wall in front of Mata Ji’s eyes. Mata Ji imagined the scene of the Sahibzaaday being bricked into the wall and then imagined the executioner pulling the sword on their throats. Mata Ji was now restless. Her maternal love came running back in and she remembered the innocent faces of the Sahibzaaday. She kept concentrating on them and did not see them as helpless sheep facing slaughter but as if there were two shining suns standing. Their faces were not full of fear but quite strong and filled with a Divine Glow. They were not fearful, they were fearless. They were looking at death as if it were a joke. Mata Ji’s Concentration focussed even more and the Sahibzaaday’s Glory and Majesty only grew further. Some time went on like this but Mata Ji’s concentration was distracted and what did she see? The heart had stopped. Breathing had now stopped. "Oh, Sinning Mind! Look at the Glory and Majesty of the Children. These Heirs have removed the weight of sin in this world and you keep imagining them as strengthless children who were separated from their parents and faced cruelty from the tyrants. You are greatly mistaken! Oh, sinning mind! You never let me go into the Highest State of Peace... You always keep me within your pleasures and pains" After breathing deeply, Mata Ji states: “Vaah Vaah! Oh, Children You are Blessed, Your Actions are Blessed, Your Father is Blessed, Your Mother is Blessed, and I am Blessed. It is right that I am Blessed too... for I am related to you as well. I am Blessed too! Mata Ji became resurrected through envisioning this. Blessed! Blessed!! Blessed!!! Mata Ji was saying this out loud. While feeling the Majesty of Vaheguru surrounding Mata Ji, she got up. Mata Ji washed her hands and face then opened the door. The moonlight was shining on her courtyard. Seeing this Mata Ji became hopeless and recited Gurbani:
ਮੂਸਨ ਮਸਕਰ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਕੀ ਰਹੀ ਜੁ ਅੰਬਰੁ ਛਾਇ ॥
Moosan Maskar Praem Kee Rahee Ju A[n]mbar[u] Chhaae[i]
Oh Moosan, the Moonlight of Love pervades in the Shade of the Sky
ਬੀਧੇ ਬਾਂਧੇ ਕਮਲ ਮਹਿ ਭਵਰ ਰਹੇ ਲਪਟਾਇ ॥੪॥
Beedhhae Baa[n]dhhae Kamal Mah[i] Bhavar Rahae Laptaae[i]
I cling onto my Vaheguru, just like a bumblebee is caught in the closed Lotus Flower
(Dhan Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Sahib Ji Maharaj in Chaubole)
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The Moon was not alone in the sky... Guru Sahib’s Four Stars were also sitting in the sky. This Moon was Sat-Sangee. The Sangat was sitting in front of her home. They were positioned in a way so when Mata Ji would open the door, she would not feel sad and alone. When they saw Mata Ji come out and sing Gurbani, they then became delighted. Mata Ji roared a Fateh and said: "Blessed is the Satsang, Blessed is the Garden of Guru Gobind Singh Ji, Blessed is this Desireless Love, Blessed is Sikhi, Blessed is the Beloved’s Garden. Oh Beloveds, I took a [mental] tumble and went into an unfavourable state. I thought the beloved children were extinguished but Oh! This mind keeps going into negativity. It is not like the Sahibzaaday would ever go into negativity. They will keep shining always. The Sahibzaaday came to this world in order to remove the weight of sin in this world. By sacrificing themselves, the weight was taken away. They are my grandchildren but it is my mistake that I did not recognize Their Divine Glow... they gave me honour by being related to me. They were Godly and of Divine Light who came to remove our entanglements and they were successful. Give your blessings:
ਸੰਬਤਿ ਸਾਹਾ ਲਿਖਿਆ ਮਿਲਿ ਕਰਿ ਪਾਵਹੁ ਤੇਲੁ ॥
Sa[n]mbath Saahaa Likhiaa Mil[i] Kar[i] Paavah[u] Thael[u]
The day of my wedding has already been written,
so please everyone come and pour oil [like oil poured in threshold as a way to welcome a loved one]
ਦੇਹੁ ਸਜਣ ਅਸੀਸੜੀਆ ਜਿਉ ਹੋਵੈ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਸਿਉ ਮੇਲੁ ॥੩॥
Dhaeh[u] SajaN Aseesarreeaa Jio[u] Hovai Saahib Sio[u] Mael[u]
Please give me your well-wishes, so that I can meet my Master
ਘਰਿ ਘਰਿ ਏਹੁ ਪਾਹੁਚਾ ਸਦੜੇ ਨਿਤ ਪਵੰਨਿ ॥
Ghar[i] Ghar[i] Eho Paahuchaa Sadharrae Nith Pava[n]n[i]
Every house will receive this invitation,
The call is made daily
ਸਦਣਹਾਰਾ ਸਿਮਰੀਐ ਨਾਨਕ ਸੇ ਦਿਹ ਆਵੰਨਿ ॥੪॥੧॥
SadhaNhaaraa Simareeai Nanak Sae Dhih Aava[n]n
Remember the One who is inviting us,
Dhan Guru Nanak: the day is arriving!
(Sohila Sahib)
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So give me your blessings!
The Sangat became thankful to Vaheguru and started to sing:
ਮਾਤਾ ਕੇ ਉਦਰ ਮਹਿ ਪ੍ਰਤਿਪਾਲ ਕਰੇ ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮਨਹੁ ਵਿਸਾਰੀਐ ॥
Maathaa Kae Udhar Mah[i] Prathipaal Karae So Kio[u] Manah[u] Visaareeai
The One who protects you in the mother’s womb, so why should I forget Vaheguru?
ਮਨਹੁ ਕਿਉ ਵਿਸਾਰੀਐ ਏਵਡੁ ਦਾਤਾ ਜਿ ਅਗਨਿ ਮਹਿ ਆਹਾਰੁ ਪਹੁਚਾਵਏ ॥
Manah[u] Kio[u] Visaareeai Evad[u] Dhaathaa Ji Agan[i] Mah[i] Aahaar[u] Pahuchaava-ae
How can I ever forget such a Giver, who provides sustenance in the fire?
ਓਸ ਨੋ ਕਿਹੁ ਪੋਹਿ ਨ ਸਕੀ ਜਿਸ ਨਉ ਆਪਣੀ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਵਏ ॥
Osno Kih[u] Poh[i] n Sakee Jis no[u] AapNee Liv Laav-ae
Nothing can even harm, whomever Vaheguru attaches to Themselves
ਆਪਣੀ ਲਿਵ ਆਪੇ ਲਾਏ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸਮਾਲੀਐ ॥
AapaNee Liv Aapae Laa-ae Gurmukh[i] Sadhaa Samaaleeai
Vaheguru decides whom to connect,
Vaheguru continously joins their Gurmukh
ਕਹੈ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਏਵਡੁ ਦਾਤਾ ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮਨਹੁ ਵਿਸਾਰੀਐ ॥੨੮॥
Kahai Nanak[u] Evad[u] Dhaathaa So Kio[u] Manah[u] Visaareeai
Dhan Guru Amardas Ji: How can we forget such a Giver?
(Anand Sahib)
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Seeing Mata Ji in such peace, everyone became at ease as well. Mata Ji lovingly said goodbye to everyone. Despite it being winter, Mata Ji sat under the moonlight for a little bit more and recited Anand Sahib... then she went inside and went to sleep.
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While sleeping, her mind put all of its wavering force against her. Then the mind had taken control of the body too. Looking at how much strength this body of flesh has... Mata Ji had a dream that the Sahibzaaday were being bricked into a wall and in her sleep, she went close to them, she tried to remove them from the wall but the cruel ones overpowered her. Among this back and forth, the brick wall was being stacked and layered. Mata Ji was now also being bricked alive. Mata Ji was feeling suffocated in this state with the Sahibzaaday. Feeling such torture, Mata Ji was slowly suffering and her life was being removed from her. Her soul was looking for a way out of the bricks but it was not able to find a way out. Mata Ji had to face such great darkness that she had never experienced before. The Sahibzaaday found an exit through one hole which was left by the executioner. Mata Ji also began to escape through that hole. Mata Ji thought that she was bigger than the Sahibzaaday... how would she get through the hole? But then there was no other option, Mata Ji stuck her head through this hole and got out in a strenuous manner. She got out but could not find the Sahibzaaday. In this anxious state, she was scattered all over the place... calling for them until Mata Ji woke up. She realized that she was laying on her bed, the silver moonlight was leaking into her room, and Mata Ji’s body was really hot. Mata Ji got up and said Vaheguru, drank a glass of water but her focus had dropped, her mind was in sadness and fear, and it felt like it was in a state of suffering. All of the sufferings Mata Ji had faced previously were all swarming around her eyes. Mata Ji went to sleep in such a great state but woke up in such a bad one. This is why Bhagats will cry out:
ਕਬੀਰ ਸੂਤਾ ਕਿਆ ਕਰਹਿ ਬੈਠਾ ਰਹੁ ਅਰੁ ਜਾਗੁ ॥
Kabeer Soothaa Kiaa Karahi Baittaa Rah[u] Ar[u] Jaag[u]
Bhagat Kabeer Ji: what are you doing sleeping? Get up and awaken...
ਜਾ ਕੇ ਸੰਗ ਤੇ ਬੀਛੁਰਾ ਤਾਹੀ ਕੇ ਸੰਗ ਲਾਗੁ ॥੧੨੯॥
Jaakae Sa[n]g Thae Beechhuraa Thaahee Kae Sa[n]g[i] Laag[u]
To the One You were separated from, attach yourself and reunite
(Bhagat Kabeer Ji’s Saloks, Ang 1371)
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Now the battle continued, and the mind was not letting Mata Ji get up. It was getting stronger. This useless dream attacked Mata Ji and put her in a state of Tamogun (Animalistic/self-preserving/Lazy). The cycle of Naam was still going too. It was the force of spiritual hardship which did not allow her focus to waver. Mata Ji eventually began reciting Japji Sahib:
ਆਦੇਸੁ ਤਿਸੈ ਆਦੇਸੁ ॥
Aadhaes[u] Thisai Aadhaes[u]
Bowing to the One, Revering to...
ਆਦਿ ਅਨੀਲੁ ਅਨਾਦਿ ਅਨਾਹਤਿ ਜੁਗੁ ਜੁਗੁ ਏਕੋ ਵੇਸੁ ॥੨੮॥
Aadh[i] Aneel[u] Anaadh[i] Anaahath[i] Jug[u] Jug[u] Eko Vaes[u]
The One present in the beginning, without blemishes, without beginning,
Without end... contiously One Form through time (ages)
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When Mata Ji arrived at this pankthee, then Mata Ji put her head down in Namaskaar. In this way, the concentration came. Now stability had arrived, and coolness came too. Doing 'Aadhaes Tisai Aadhaes' four times, Mata Ji began to sweat, and the body began to cool, the mind cooled down. A voice from inside came and said: “do not lose these opportunities, remain in a high spiritual state, do not escape this love, below you is only the sighing state, above you is the Place of Peace. Focus on the higher state”
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Concentration is a Great Power:
ਪੰਚਾ ਕਾ ਗੁਰੁ ਏਕੁ ਧਿਆਨੁ ॥
Panchaa Kaa Gur[u] Ek[u] Dhhiaan[u]
The Supreme Ones have their focus solely on the Vaheguru
(Sri Japji Sahib)
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The mind wished to distract the concentration from inside and bring it to only see that which is in the visible world. Put efforts into bringing the mind’s concentration to attain the Eternally Higher States of Vaheguru’s Sanctuary. Wherever the focus went, it became a part of Vaheguru’s Sanctuary. Reflecting upon this, Mata Ji became calm and cool. Now the mind was seen as a strength. A power was visible which made it appear to be the witness. All of the events which have happened are now visible as part of a higher Godly Work in which Mata Ji cannot control anything. The mind was simply going to witness this and stay concentrated in the House of Vaheguru. This was in order to realize the Hukam. Whatever was happening was in Vaheguru’s Will and keeping the internal focus towards the Sanctuary of Vaheguru’s Lotus Feet. The attempt is that we should not get ripped out of the Sanctuary. Mata Ji got up in these colours... part of Amrit Vela had passed but even still Mata Ji took the courage to go to Guru Sahib. There was less Sangat in the Gurdwara Sahib at that time too. After hearing about what happened in Chamkaur Sahib, a lot of the Sangat left their homes to go and try to be of some help to Guru Sahib as they reached Malwa. Even if there were only a few Gursikhs at the Gurdwara, the Shabads were still dying those in Sangat with the colours of Radiating Peace. After immersing herself in the colours of Kirtan, Mata Ji’s concentration only became stronger. The Shabads were those that brought Mata Ji’s concentration. They filled the mind with thoughts of accepting Hukam. In these colours, the night was spent and Mata Ji’s Fifth Difficult Night had passed.
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