4th Difficult Night
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The third night had passed. The Clouds flew away. Which clouds? The very clouds that hid the Sun of Hukam-Acceptance within Mata Ji’s Heart. They left the sky of Mata Ji’s mind after the rain had poured. Occasionally, a cloud still appeared. Which cloud? The cloud of worrying. Worrying about what? Worrying about where Guru Sahib might be at this moment and in what state they must be. What is the family going through? Mata Ji’s focus was still able to reside in the Eternal but the worrying thought still lingered. Those with faith and steadfastness will say that only Maharaj knows about their own spectacles. Those who stay within the carefree colours of Vaheguru... do not see any victories or losses. Only Vaheguru knows about their own mysteries. They are not stuck in between the cycles of birth and death. They are Immortal. They see both pains and pleasures as one. The clouds began to disappear after reflecting on these types of thoughts. A traveller came and told Mata Ji that Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj left Anandpur Sahib for Chamkaur and that a great battle occurred. Maharaj stayed safe overnight and the Older Sahibzaaday became Shaheed. Many other Gursikhs like Bhai Sangat Singh Ji became liberated upon attaining Shaheedi.
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This news made Mata Ji descend from the Realm of Naam. It felt as if a traveller passing by stopped Mata Ji while saying: “Halt! Listen to what we have to say!” In this way, Mata Ji halted. Mata Ji never thought this would happen. She would never imagine Guru Sahib’s Children – the Stars of her Eyes – would ever attain the Rank of Shaheed on the Battlefield. This news was like the frozen runoff from melting glaciers that would cause the person receiving the news to lose footing and fall over. You can refer to this as an emotional attachment to Maya [illusory world] or the depths of maternal love but whatever resided in Mata Ji’s heart caused her great calamity. The mind was connected to Naam but this mind was not aware of what hid behind an unexpected curtain of maternalism. Whenever this curtain dropped, the entire mind shook and Naam would go missing as a result. It was just like a boat getting lost in the waves during a storm. Wherever there is a boat, there is an intimidating ocean as well. The very nature of the mind is wavering. So in this game, the mind is bound to get lost in the ocean as well. The dirt underneath Mata Ji’s feet swept away and she became numb. The mind became like a stone. Mata Ji’s tears dropped but it looks like they had become frozen. Mata Ji had a sunken gaze towards the ground. Not speaking, not moving. This news arrived in the city as well. Loved ones started to come and go again. Mata Ji could not speak to anyone. She was sitting just like a rock. Seeing the direction Mata Ji was headed, two elderly Gursikhs began to worry. The seniors got together with Sangat and decided to have a Diwaan at Mata Ji’s Courtyard. They decided to sing Shabads about detachment. About an hour in, Mata Ji’s eyes started to shed tears, she took a long breath and spoke: "Laal Ji! If I had taken the loved ones with me then it would have been beneficial”. She did not say anything else but the tears did not stop and continued to flow.
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All of the Sangat was going through such separation as well but knowing that Mata Ji was in more pain, one of the older Sangat Bibiyan washed Mata Ji’s hands and face then took her inside to lie down. As she lay down, Mata Ji fell asleep. Seeing Mata Ji in sleep, the Sangat did not want to startle Mata Ji. They decided to quietly leave. The servants in the house gently closed the door and went to rest. The first quarter of the night had not passed since Mata Ji heard of this news. It felt like a dagger had stabbed her ears. Sleeping for a bit, Mata Ji awoke in suffering. "The same clock still continued, the same stars and moon rose but the thousands of body parts of my grandchildren on the battlefield are waiting for the fire of cremation. Vaah Vaah Your Playfulness! Oh Mind! There is nothing in your control, nothing is obedient to you. The One who the control belongs to, learn to be under Their Control.
ਜਿਸੁ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਸਿਉ ਨਾਹੀ ਚਾਰਾ॥
Jis[u] Ttaakur Sio[u] naahee Chaaraa
That Master-Vaheguru cannot be moved by force,
ਤਾ ਕਉ ਕੀਜੈ ਸਦ ਨਮਸਕਾਰਾ॥
Thaa Ko[u] Keejai Sadh namaskaaraa
So always bow down/revere/surrender yourself to Vaheguru
(Sri Sukhmani Sahib)
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The same Guru who destroys the suffering of those in this world delays troubles and puts nails into the lines of our destiny... That Guru Sahib sent Their Children to the Battlefield and saw them become cut bit by bit with His Own Eyes... Is there any mystery within this that you cannot understand? But what was it that saved my daughter from having to see such chaos... Everyone has their own fate. "
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Saying this, Mata Ji choked up and the tears began to spill. Not just spilling but a full river began to flow. In the way that saltwater was being pulled out of her eyes, Mata Ji’s focus was being pulled and gathered towards Naam. This type of concentration is full of rough friction. The impact reverberated throughout her body. When one fountain was put aside, another prepared to flow. In this roughness, the mind does not think about anything else. The lack of willpower to do anything else and the detachment. There is a silence of solitude in this state. Oh Sinning Night of Poh! Being black and deaf [to her pains], it cannot be tolerated. How can it pass? It can pass if you feel sleepy or if you are immersed in the bliss of worship and meditation or when you are so delighted that you don’t realize time has passed. This concentration was met with a blockage and the night did not pass quickly. Mata Ji came out of this numbness after a while, Mata Ji took a cold breath and spoke: “Oh People! I have been looted, my grandchildren who were so decent have been destroyed, and I have lost my internal Beloved as well. That which was out of my control, so it had happened. That which was within my hands, I have lost that as well. Oh deceiving mind! There is no stability for you! "
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ਮਨ ਖੁਟਹਰ ਤੇਰਾ ਨਹੀ ਬਿਸਾਸੁ ਮਹਾ ਉਦਮਾਦਾ॥
Man Khutahar Thaeraa nahee Bisaas[u] Thoo Mahaa Oudhmaadhaa|
Oh devious mind, you cannot be trusted, you are greatly intoxicated in the world...
(Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Bilaaval, Ang 815)
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Mata Ji felt upset but: "Oh sinning mind! Who told you that after all of this meant that you have to let go of Naam? Let go of this anxiety but never give up this Naam. Naam will automatically clean you and take you out of this situation. Begin to attach with Naam when your hair is still black, when your hair is grey then be covered in Naam, now that you are faced with jaundice you are letting go? [tough times referred to as a sickness here]
Oh Sinner, have some pity!
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Oh Mind! You are a dish then why do you try to do the tasks of the potter? What type of Sat-Sangee are You? Have some shame. Being related to Guru Sahib, you should know that Guru Sahib sent them to attain Shaheedi with Their Own Hands. Now you cannot accept this and instead begin to break down upon hearing this news? Let go of this hopelessness and find your footing. Oh! What is the point of regret now? Those breaths that were not attached to Naam were wasted. Now I waste further breaths in regret. That is why, Oh Mind! Connect!” Saying this, Mata Ji became mentally strong. She clenched her teeth and set her mind to it. Like a ray of lightning comes and changes the environment... thunder resounded within Mata Ji and all of the Tamo (Animalistic/Selfish) and Rajo(Creative/Political) thoughts became like plastic bags and flew away (Sato-Saintly Thinking only remained). Mata Ji drenched herself in Naam. This meant that she began to remember and meditate upon Vaheguru. Mata Ji was attached and properly united in Naam. Even her body became peaceful as a result. After this, she was able to sleep. Oh Mata Ji! Don’t let this Maya get to your head but just treat it like a little push from
ਮਾਇਆ ਚਿਤ੍ਰ ਬਚਿਤ੍ਰ ਬਿਮੋਹਤ॥
Maaeiaa Chithr Bachithr Bimohith
The Painting of Maya is so fascinating, it has made me attached
(Bhagat Naamdev Ji in Raag Aasaa, Ang 485)
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Remembering the news, she awoke again. Mata Ji began to hyperventilate. Mata Ji pushed through and became strong internally once more. Amrit Vela came around again and Mata Ji became unwavering. Naam was able to withstand the difficult breaths until she heard a sweet but pain-filled voice from outside:
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ਆਓ ਨੀ ਸਹੀਓ! ਰਲ ਸੌਦੇ ਨੂੰ ਚਲੀਏ, ਆਪ ਵਪਾਰੀ ਹੋ ਆਇਆ।
AaO nee SaheeO Ral Saudhae noo Chaleeae, Aap Vapaaree Ho Aaeiaa |
Come on sisters, let’s join together and go to the make a deal...
The Trader has come Himself.
ਲਾਲ ਲਿਆ ਸੀ ਮੈਂ ਮੂਲ ਸੁਵੱਲੇ, ਜੌਹਰੀ ਨੂੰ ਚਾ ਦਿਖਲਾਇਆ।
Laal Liaa See Mai[n] Mul Suvalae, Jauharee noo[n] Chaa Dhikhlaaeiaa |
I had my ruby/beloved child which I paid a price for, now I show it to the Jeweller to get appraised
ਜੌਹਰੀ ਨੇ ਉਸਦੀ ਪਰਖ ਜੁ ਕੀਤੀ, ਪਰਖ ਖਜ਼ਾਨੇ ਪਾਇਆ।
Jauharee nae Usdhee Parakh Ju Keethee, Parkh Khazaanae Paaeiaa |
The Jeweller appraised it and compared it among the treasury of other jewels
ਮੁੱਲ ਪਿਆ ਮੁੱਲ ਏਹੋ ਨੀ ਸਹੀਓ! ਜੌਹਰੀ ਦੇ ਮੁੱਲ ਵਿਕਾਇਆ।
Mul Piaa Mul Eho nee SaheeO! Jauharee Dhae Mul Vikaaeiaa |
It received a value that it was priceless Oh Sisters! I had sold it to the Jeweller
ਲਾਲ ਅਮੋਲਕ ਹੋਇਆ ਮੁੱਲਾ, ਜੌਹਰੀ ਨੇ ਮੁੱਲ ਵਧਾਇਆ।
Laal Amolak Hoeiaa Amulaa, Jauharee nae Mul Vadhhaaeiaa |
The priceless ruby/beloved-child was valued as priceless, the Jeweller went and increased its value
ਆਪ ਵਧਾਇਓਸੁ ਆਪੇ ਸੂ ਭਰਿਆ, ਆਪ ਖਜ਼ਾਨੇ ਪਾਇਆ।
Aap VadhhaeiOs Aapae Soo Bhariaa, Aap Khazaanae Soo Paaeiaa |
The Jeweller increased the value Himself, appraised it Himself and put it in His Treasured-Inventory
ਆਪਣੇ ਤੁੱਲ ਦਾ ਲਾਲ ਨੂੰ ਕੀਤੋਸੁ, ਏਸੇ ਭਾ ਲਾਲ ਵਿਕਾਇਆ।
AapaNae Thul Dhaa Laal Noo[n] Keethos[u] Esae Bhaa Laal Vikaaeiaa |
The Jeweller took that ruby/beloved-child and raised it to the Jeweller’s Standard and sold it to Himself at this rate
ਲਾਲ ਗਿਆ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਕਹਿਣ ਅਪੁੱਤੀ, ਮੈਂ ਅੱਜ ਪੁੱਤਰ ਪਾਇਆ।
Laal Giaa Mainoo[n] KahiN Aputhee, Mai Aj Puthar Paaeiaa |
The ruby/beloved-child is gone and people say I am now child-less, Today I truly received a real child [noble one who makes his parents proud]
ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਚਰਨਾਂ ਤੋਂ ਘੁੰਮ ਗਿਆ ਓ, ਸਫ਼ਲ ਹੋਯਾ ਪੁਤ ਆਇਆ।
Sathigur Charanaa[n] Tho[n] Ghu[n]m Giaa O, Saphal Hoyaa Puth Aaeiaa |
Sacrificing Himself to Guru Sahib’s Lotus Feet, That Child’s Life was Fruitful!
ਮੈਂ ਸਫ਼ਲੀ ਹਾਂ ਨਾਲੇ ਹੀ ਹੋਈ, ਜਿਸਨੇ ਲਾਲ ਸੀ ਜਾਇਆ।
Mai[n] Saphlee Haa[n] naalae Hee Hoee, Jisnae Laal See Jaaeiaa |
My life is now fruitful as well, for I gave birth to him
ਆਓ ਨੀ ਸਹੀਓ ਰਲ ਸੌਦੇ ਨੂੰ ਚੱਲੀਏ, ਆਪ ਵਪਾਰੀ ਹੋ ਆਇਆ।
AaO nee SaheeO! Ral Saudhae Noo[n] Chaleeae, Aap Vapaaree Ho Aaeiaa|
Come Oh Sisters! Let’s go make a deal together, the Trader has come Himself!
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Hearing this sweet, loving, faith-filled, steadfast cry... Mata Ji’s Focus connected deeply. It found its seat and connected. At that time, the door knocked. A friend had opened it and walked in while saying Maa... Oh! the Mother of My Crown Jewel! Congratulate me and let me congratulate you. Today, those lion cubs of Guru Gobind Singh Ji – which came from the womb of your daughter – have now become Shaheed and I have become a fulfilled mother as well. These love-filled wondrous words from a friend had such a profound impact on Mata Ji.
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Mata Ji recognized that this voice was of Beer Raanee, the Mother of Shaheed Bhai Sant Singh Ji. She had heard that she was a completely steadfast and devout Bhagat of a son who had sacrificed himself for Guru Sahib [Bhai Sant Singh’s Face resembled Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s and had been sent out in front at Chamkaur Sahib. The next day, Bhai Sant Singh became Shaheed. The enemy force was happy thinking that they killed Guru Sahib. Bhai Sant Singh was from Patti]. Now Mata Ji understood who made a profit in her deal [referring to Mata Beer Raanee]. She understood how the Jeweller appraised her ruby [laal means beloved or beloved-child but also means ruby]. Bhai Sant Singh sacrificed himself for Guru Sahib and the protection of other Sikhs, Guru Sahib put Their Own Kalgi (Plume) on the Sikh. In this manner, the ruby was traded for a high price. Hearing of her son’s bravery and attaining such an honour, Mata Beer Raanee’s concentration became unbreakable and ripened. She crossed over the heights of birth & death [escaped the cycle of reincarnation] and saw what was on the other side. This proved to be a joyous occasion for Mata Beer Raanee. It’s not that Mata Ji was not affected by losing her son but just slightly. Mata Beer Raanee became inspired by her son’s bravery and set out to withstand the unbearable and attain the highest state.
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The worrisome night of Mata Sabhraaee Ji – which felt like it lasted forever – was over and she finally got out of the rut. She was only further encouraged by hearing Mata Beer Raanee’s words. Mata Sabhraaee Ji became stable in Naam once more until she heard the echoes of Dhol [drums] and Chhainae [percussion instrument with small cymbals on them] from Sat-Sangat. Mata Ji went to the Dharamshaalaa for Aasaa Di Vaar.
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Mata Ji’s focus went into unwavering high states. The body became a gentle flower. Today, Mata Ji was in absolute concentration. Mata Ji did not have any attachment to the body in this concentration. This is how the Fourth night was spent and spent in the sanctuary of Naam.
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