3rd Difficult Night
Read the previous sections here
Please Note: we have not added translations for shabads atm, will add later...
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Mata Ji stayed in Anandpur Sahib for a bit after Mata Jeetho Ji’s Akaal Chalaanaa but eventually went back home. Mata Ji started to think with satoguni (saintly/pure) intentions and did not have negative thoughts. Due to this thinking, Mata Ji was not dwelling in low spirits as much as before. Nowadays, there are people who cry as a result of worrying for reputation or due to tamogun (selfish/animalistic) tendencies (becoming apathetic to suffering). But Mata Ji’s desires were to have even more steadfastness within her spirit and find the destination that Maharaj have commanded us to reach. That same Vaheguru which we are proud of chanting & remembering... let us see this Vaheguru as the Light which constantly remains on (Consciousness/Awareness). This was Mata Ji's Routine: Waking up during Amrit Vela, doing Ishnaan [bathing], focussing her attention towards Guru Sahib, going towards the Dharamshaalaa [Gurdwara], Reciting Gurbani upon returning home, Making Parshaad then distributing and serving to Gurmukhs or the needy, then attaching to some work, speaking to other women in the neighborhood (SatSang remained consistent), consuming Parshaadh herself then going to Dharamshaalaa again for SoDar Chaukee, reciting or listening to Rehras Sahib, reading Sohila Sahib at night then doing Simran before going to bed.
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The days were passing by with ease. The memory of her husband or daughter did not leave but acted as 2 lines of teachings in her heart: 1) Death is Reality... 2) Be prepared for death in the way her daughter and husband were. When she missed them, she would easily be able to connect to Naam in the way she had Gursikhi memories of them preserved. In this way, she leaped over this pit.
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The world says that time is deceiving, and that time is the useless giver of pain but those who see this as part of the Creator’s Creation, they refer to time as their teacher. When sudden change comes or one goes through a time of chaos, the spiritual seeker will refer to these events as those which join the mind’s focus. One can understand the importance of wounds of times through the process of making the brick of spiritual growth. The strong brick is baked from soft moulded earth. This baking process may seem painful but it does strengthen them. Maharaj says:
ਦੁਖੁ ਦਾਰੂ ਸੁਖੁ ਰੋਗੁ ਭਇਆ...
Dhukh Dhaaroo Sukh[u] Rog[u] Bhaeiaa
Suffering is the medicine & Pleasure is the illness we've acquired
(Rehraas Sahib)
and
ਦੀਵਾ ਮੇਰਾ ਏਕੁ ਨਾਮੁ ਦੁਖੁ ਵਿਚਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਤੇਲੁ ॥
Dheevaa Maeraa Ek[u] Naam[u] Dhukh[u] Vich[i] Paaeiaa Thael[u]
My Lamp is the Naam of Ik...
in suffering I pour oil into it
ਉਨਿ ਚਾਨਣਿ ਓਹੁ ਸੋਖਿਆ ਚੂਕਾ ਜਮ ਸਿਉ ਮੇਲੁ ॥੧॥
Oun[i] ChanaN[i] Oh[u] Sokhiaa Chookaa Jam Sio[u] Mael[u]
Its flame has dried up the oil, I have escaped the meeting with the messenger of death
(Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Aasaa, Ang 358)
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Mata Ji’s Lamp of Naam was burning and glowing, it was fuelled by the oil of two separate pains. The Lamp of Naam was radiating. When the two lamps began to dry up then a third oil came to fuel the lamp. This oil will not last forever but one day the lamp will light itself without fuel:
ਅਛਲ ਛਲਾਈ ਨਹ ਛਲੈ ਨਹ ਘਾਉ ਕਟਾਰਾ ਕਰਿ ਸਕੈ ॥
Achhal Chhalaaee Nah Chhalai Nah Ghaao[u] Kataaraa Kar[i] Sakai
The Undeceivable is not deceived by deception. He cannot be wounded by any dagger
ਜਿਉ ਸਾਹਿਬੁ ਰਾਖੈ ਤਿਉ ਰਹੈ ਇਸੁ ਲੋਭੀ ਕਾ ਜੀਉ ਟਲ ਪਲੈ ॥੧॥
Jio[u] Saahib[u] Raakhai Thio[u] Rahai Is[u] Lobhee Kaa Jeeo[u] Tal Palai
As the Master keeps them, that's how they remain... the soul of this greedy person is tossed all over the place.
ਬਿਨੁ ਤੇਲ ਦੀਵਾ ਕਿਉ ਜਲੈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Bin Thael Dheevaa Kio[u] Jalai | Rahaao |
How can the lamp burn without oil?
ਪੋਥੀ ਪੁਰਾਣ ਕਮਾਈਐ ॥
Pothhee PuraaN Kamaaeeai
Let the recitation of Gurbani be the Fuel
ਭਉ ਵਟੀ ਇਤੁ ਤਨਿ ਪਾਈਐ ॥
Bho[u] Vatee Ith[u] Than[i] Paaeeai
Let the fear of Vaheguru become the wick in the lamp of this body
ਸਚੁ ਬੂਝਣੁ ਆਣਿ ਜਲਾਈਐ ॥੨॥
Sach[u] BoojhaN[u] AaN[i] Jalaaeeai
Let the Understanding of the Truth be the flame that burns
ਇਹੁ ਤੇਲੁ ਦੀਵਾ ਇਉ ਜਲੈ ॥
Ih[u] Thael Dheevaa Io[u] Jalai
Use this type of oil to burn the lamp
ਕਰਿ ਚਾਨਣੁ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਤਉ ਮਿਲੈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Kar[i] ChaanaN[u] Saahib Tho[u] Milae | Rahaao |
Lighting this, the Master will be met
ਇਤੁ ਤਨਿ ਲਾਗੈ ਬਾਣੀਆ ॥
Ith[u] Than[i] Laagai BaaNeeaa
Let this body be attached to Gurbani
ਸੁਖੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਸੇਵ ਕਮਾਣੀਆ ॥
Sukh[u] Hovae Saev KamaaNeeaa
Becoming Peaceful by doing Seva
ਸਭ ਦੁਨੀਆ ਆਵਣ ਜਾਣੀਆ ॥੩॥
Sabh Dhuneeaa AavaN JaaNeeaa
The world comes and goes...
ਵਿਚਿ ਦੁਨੀਆ ਸੇਵ ਕਮਾਈਐ ॥
Vich[i] Dhuneeaa Saev Kamaaeeai
By doing Seva in this world,
ਤਾ ਦਰਗਹ ਬੈਸਣੁ ਪਾਈਐ ॥
Thaa Dhargah BaisaN[u] Paaeeai
then one will find a place in Sachkhand
ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਬਾਹ ਲੁਡਾਈਐ ॥੪॥੩੩॥
Kah[u] Nanak Baah Ludaaeeai
Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji say:
Put your arms up in the air [in Bliss]
(Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji in Sree Raag, Ang 25)
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But for this moment, Mata Ji’s Lamp glowed using the oil of pain. One day Mata Ji was sitting down. At this time, a relative came running to her:
'Maaee! Anandpur Sahib does not exist anymore. All the Sikhs were killed. That Kingdom – the delight of Sat-Sangat – no longer exists. The majority of Anandpur Sahib is a pile of rubble and ash. The Sahibzaaday and Mata Gujari Ji were sent off, and Guru Sahib... only Guru Sahib themselves know where they went. All of your relatives are facing sorrow right now'
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Hearing this news, Mata Ji’s Heart got swept by a tornado and became covered in smoke. Oh the steep slopes of Dharam, so many spiritual hardships, so much Satsang... yet after so much the heart still pains. There was some hope but hearing about this suffering, Mata Ji fell once more. After thinking about the potential state of her son-in-law Guru Sahib, a dark storm fell over Mata Ji’s eyes. That same Anandpur Sahib which was the realm of mental rest, where peace had formed... now it was becoming a pile of rubble and the Mughals were taking over. Where are those same Sahibzaaday to whom I was emotionally attached?
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The first wound caused dizziness and confusion. The ego within the mind was not pleased and fell into low spirits. A thought came: "Oh I am so filled with pain, has there been anything else written in my Karma other than suffering?"
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After hearing all of this, her neighbours all came to Mata Ji. It was not just your average problem that people heard about frequently. Guru Sahib went through pain but the Sangat were the ones who could not bear it. This is a type of play that no one desires. Everyone was upset but the one who was related to Guru Sahib became the center of all sorrow. The night passed, then people came and left. Mata Ji is now alone again and is now going through great anxiety. Mata Ji had great difficulty concentrating and her chores were not done either. She could not go to her bed to sleep. She became numb and frozen right where she was sitting. After half the night passed, she had some sleep. She still felt tired but the tear-filled eyes got in the way. The flood of tears carried her sleep out the door. Mata Ji started thinking negatively: "I am upset, what should I do? How can I fly over there to see it? Why did I return back from Anandpur Sahib? At least I would be in the same pain as my Beloveds. I am limited to my Karma. What Karam does Guru Sahib have? They don’t. They are the ones who created this play and caused this... I cannot understand this. Guru Ji are all-powerful, why did they let this happen? Is there anything I can think of which is limiting me [or that is in my control]? So why am I suffering?" This was the first ray from the Sun of Spiritual Wisdom. It split the thundering clouds she was in the middle of. But the cloud of worry came back up:
Who knows of this wound?
ਸੋ ਕਤ ਜਾਨੈ ਪੀਰ ਪਰਾਈ ॥
So Kath Jaanai Peer Paraaee
So how can one know of the pains of others?
ਜਾ ਕੈ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਦਰਦੁ ਨ ਪਾਈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
Jaa kai A[n]thar[i] Dharadh n Paaee
When one has not understood the pain internally?
(Bhagat Ravidaas Ji in Raag Soohee, Ang 793)
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She was worried about the potential comment: 'Mata Ji slipped despite being attached to Naam'. However, she entered storms and escaped them too:
ਲਹਰੀ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਛਾੜੀਐ ਭੀ ਵਿਗਸੈ ਅਸਨੇਹਿ ॥
Laharee Naal[i] Pachhaarreeai Bhee Vigasai Asnaeh[i]
[The Lotus Flower] is tossed by the waves but still blossoms in love
(Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji in Sree Raag, Ang 59)
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To be able to reach this state is quite difficult. The hidden sound of Naam which was embedded in Mata Ji stood out loudly among the craziness of what was going on. She understood that she did not cause whatever happened. "If this was meant to be avoided then the All-Powerful One who caused it to happen would have done so. I must be crazy... I was caught up in mistaken thoughts like: Oh what happened, why did it happen? What will happen next? I am diseased:
ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ਰੋਗੀ ਨਾਮੁ ਦਾਰੂ ਮੈਲੁ ਲਾਗੈ ਸਚ ਬਿਨਾ ॥
Sansaar[u] Roger Naam[u] Dhaaroo Mail[u] Laagai Sach Binaa
The World is sick, Naam is the Medicine,
Without the True One, the filth sticks to them
(Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Dhhanaasaree, Ang 687)
... why don’t I eat this medicine?
ਨਾਮ ਅਉਖਧੁ ਜਿਹ ਰਿਦੈ ਹਿਤਾਵੈ ॥
Naam Aukhadhh[u] Jih Ridhae Hithaavai
Whose Heart is filled with the Medicine of Naam
ਤਾਹਿ ਰੋਗੁ ਸੁਪਨੈ ਨਹੀ ਆਵੈ ॥
Thaah[i] Rog Supanai nahee Aavai
They will never face disease even in their dreams
(Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Gourree, Ang 259)
Mata Ji thought about this and became alert. The inside stream of Naam only strengthened this alertness. Mata Ji got up then washed her face and hands, ate a piece of misree [sugar snack], and had a gulp of water. Wearing a Hazooria around her neck, Mata Ji stood in ardaas:
“Oh Playful Gobindaa! Oh my Playful Beloved! Only you know of your plays! I am an idiot who slipped into the duality of happiness and sadness. In this slip, I turned my face away from You and separated as a result.
ਹੇ ਸਮਥ ਅਗਮ ਪੂਰਨ ਮੋਹਿ ਮਇਆ ਧਾਰਿ ॥੨॥
Hae Samrathh Agam Pooran Moh[i] Maeiaa Dhhaar[i]
Oh All-powerful, Unreachable, Perfect Vaheguru...
Please be merciful to me
ਅੰਧ ਕੂਪ ਮਹਾ ਭਇਆਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਪਾਰਿ ਉਤਾਰ ॥੩॥੮॥੩੦॥
A[n]dhh Koop Mahaa Bhaeiaan Nanak Paar[i] Outhaar
Please carry me across the awfully scary dark pit of this world
(Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Malaar, Ang 1273)
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Oh Great Giver, please bless me with Naam, steadfastness, and sweet acceptance of Your Hukam.
ਹੇ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਹਉ ਦਾਸਰੋ ਮੈ ਨਿਰਗੁਨ ਗੁਨੁ ਨਹੀ ਕੋਇ ॥
Hae Ttaakur Ho[u] Dhaasaro Mai Nirgun Gun[u] nahee[n] Koe[i]
Oh Master, I am Your slave! I am worthless, I have no good qualities!
ਨਾਨਕ ਦੀਜੈ ਨਾਮ ਦਾਨੁ ਰਾਖਉ ਹੀਐ ਪਰੋਇ ॥੫੫॥
Nanak Dheejai Naam Dhaan[u] Raakho[u] Heeai Paroe[i]
Please bless me with the donation of Naam; so that I can string it into necklace to keep close to my heart
(Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Gourree, Ang 261)
Oh Forgiver/Blesser! Let the Beloveds not face the hot wave of hardship. Become Their Protector, keep them secure... become a protector there and a donor here. Blessed! Blessed!
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Tears kept falling for a while then Mata Ji became alert in her Naam Simran. Now she went through three states: while doing Naam Simran she would fall asleep, and when she was asleep there was something constantly pinching her internally, when she woke up Mata Ji reflected on the stab of anxiety still poking inside. Then Mata Ji introspects: Pain is the medicine that the Beloved has given, it is meant to be seen as sweet. It may seem bitter but it is effective medicine. Guru Sahib, You are the giver and Your Hukam is:
ਐਸਾ ਦਾਰੂ ਲੋੜਿ ਲਹੁ ਜਿਤੁ ਵੰਞੈ ਰੋਗਾ ਘਾਣਿ ॥
Aisaa Dhaaroo Lorr[i] Lah[u] Jith[u] Va[n]yjai Rogaa GhaaN[i]
Prescribe such a medicine that when taken, the diseases go away
(Dhan Guru Angad Dev Sahib Ji in Raag Malaar, Ang 1279)
Say: Sri Vaheguru, just connect to Naam now
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Now Mata Ji was properly attached to Naam. After multiple cycles of falling asleep and being awake... Amrit Vela came. Mata Ji was now properly awake. Mata Ji’s night was spent in a battle between worry and overthinking. The mind had a stone in it. Birth, Engagement, Marriage, worldly happiness, children, the happiness of children, etc. all of these moments passed over Mata Ji’s mind. At this moment, the door was knocked. Mata Ji asked who it was. The entire Sat-Sangat. Why are they here? They all decided to hold Sat-Sang at Mata Ji’s home today and Shabads would be sung there. They knew how strong yesterday’s wound was and that Mata Ji might not be able to walk to the Dharamshaalaa. They all came to support Mata Ji because they realized that Mata Ji’s Focus was still in the process of strengthening. Mata Ji opened the door and welcomed everyone hospitably. She was thankful to the Sangat and folded her hands while saying ‘Dha[n]n Dha[n]n SatSang’ multiple times. Yet the Sangat arrived to give their love... not to receive respect. Mata Ji’s money and mental efforts went towards decorating the Diwaan. Mata Ji’s Focus was perched up high in spiritual realms. In this way, the Third night went by.
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Question: These pains came, many days and nights went by... there were many days and nights... yet why are the nights only being explained in detail? ... were her days not painful as well? Did Mata Ji become peaceful the next night?
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Answer: When a painful thing is heard for the first time, the trauma associated with it, is really dangerous... at that time, many relatives and friends come together. Through their love and their sympathy, the pain doesn’t go away but the burden becomes a bit lighter. Time went by in this way yet when everyone left or fell asleep then Mata Ji was left alone with her thoughts. During this time, both mind & body were tired and weak... thus, perceptible to the blows of anxiety. The mind headed towards negative thoughts. Mata Ji was able to deal with the pain and reflect on it during the night. Sat-Sangat kept coming to Mata Ji in order to provide support on her spiritual progress. They knew how the mind wavers under the weight of multiple painful events. They wished that the rock of anxiety does not cause Mata Ji to stop swimming in Naam. They knew that the wealth of Naam is the thing that needs to be saved. Flapping the arms of Naam in this world-ocean will cause the suffering to leave... and cause Mata Ji to merge her own perceived ‘free will’ into Maharaj’s Hukam. This will allow one to sit stably in the Home of Spiritual Peace.
(Q&A from Baba Nodhh Singh)
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